When I get to a road block in training, or become frustrated that a lesson is not sinking in, I literally walk away from the lesson. In Toad's case we get a time out. Bullies are more tenacious and fun loving then any other breed. You cannot go head to head with them and expect any long lasting positive behavior.
I'm learning Toad's signs. He mouths, he gives me stink eye, he becomes frustrated and needs to rip and run around the house bouncing off walls. He starts to challenge me and known commands. He accidentally hurts me.
Last week, he cracked my back and tried to dislocate my jaw. He almost took us out on the road while I was driving when he thought that sitting on my head was an appropriate spot. Taken as individual items, it looks like training is needed. (and it still is, but that's not what he was trying to convey). When he gets frustrated, his patience/focus and drive to please lower... he gets into trouble, increasing the stress/frustration on my part and we become part of a losing cycle.
I found my self saying "No" like a broken record. No licking. No biting. No peeing in the house. No jumping. No chewing shoes. No stealing stuff off the counter. No being mean to puppies. No.
He was spending more time in the crate. I was exhausted. We weren't working through anything. I ran scenarios through my head. New food; are the incidents centering around meals (possibly too many carbs/sugar causing bad behavior). I'm tired; ergo less patience. New puppies (14 in the house now). Need more exercise (hence the car ride of death). Nothing was making an impact.
I began to wonder if I was acting or reacting. Was Toad now doing things to get my attention (they are pretty darned amazing trainers!).
Years ago, when I managed hair salons I took part in a training seminar. It's stayed with me for many years and has been useful in a multitude of situations. The speaker, who I was trying to convince the importance of being in the trenches with the other stylists imparted the following wisdom. He casually sauntered over to me while I was defending my position and simply asked: "Where does an Olympic swimming coach stand while coaching?"I answered "side of the pool" He bent down, close to my ear and yelled "GET OUT OF THE POOL!!!!"
So, there I was, in the pool, drowning with the little man. Neither of us happy, both of us frustrated.
Turns out the word "NO" is broken. I suspect it was over used in his past life (and its an easy word to use with a bully). When a word is used with no follow through, it becomes an empty word with no value. Background noise. Meant less then nothing to him, so my frustration seemed random and inappropriate.
Yesterday we began using the word "Don't" instead. It's a good word, easily replaces "no" and has a nice sharp edge to it. (tone that is). He responded immediately with a break in the behavior, which gave me the opportunity to reward what I want to see. By supper, we were in a calm, easy place. He's pretty amazing company.
My knuckle headed, forgiving little beast of a boy.
